The demise of Bendahara's Grandma.

Your Bendahara had a very tough week last week. His granny had not been feeling too good since Saturday had refused and delayed to enter the hospital till Monday where the volunteers had advice her to. By the time she went into the hospital, she was already suffering from bleeding liver. To scan and exam or to treat internally was almost impossible given her age. Bendahara did not realize she was bleeding internally. All that i knew instinctively was that i had to see her fast. Bendahara only get to know from Bendahari (Bendahara's younger sister) that she was not doing good and it was only a matter of time she would be gone.

It was very strange feeling indeed. It was like in theory Bendahara could accept everything thrown to me. In reality, Bendahara find it hard to accept the imminent death. The stupid TTSH insisted that everyone had to queue up and get their information before going up. They had limited the number of people per bed to 6. Can someone tell them that such rule should be banned for Bendahara? Anyway Bendahara managed to get up to see her. Bendahara had started to have a little flashback of how she was visiting us about 20 odd years ago and that how she managed to get herself to us without any problem. Of course there were times she went to visit the other cousins instead of us even through she was scheduled to visit us and how we slightly angry at our cousins for jumping the queue.

Of course as she aged, she was not able to visit us much so we went to visit her. Along the way, my frequency of visiting started to drop as Bendahara was often busy and fatigue. Whenever Bendahara visit her, she would be very happy and held bendahara's hand for awhile and tell him to have a drink. At times, she would tell him to bring a girl home to let her see. he would always be around whenever there were having some functions or whenever she was in hospital.

So when he went to visit her, he was shocked at how frail she looked. It was sad to see her in that state. It was the next morning that she moved on without us around. Bendahara was shocked and that it seems so unreal. It was a strange feeling to see her lying motionlessly. Your Bendahara kept thinking that she would move and that she would say something but nope she was already gone. He also thought that Bendahari was right to tell him that he had refused to accept certain facts and moved on very well.

In that very moment, he was very glad that he managed to see her for the last time. He realised that sometimes if there were something to be done right now, it had to be done right now. He was glad that he did. He did not have much regret on this issue.

In the funeral, Bendahara started to see the ugly side of his relatives. They were suppose to uphold their own morale but they failed him.

He started to realise that while been contented of being single, he did not want to die alone without anyone loving or griefing for him in the future. (Practical issue which he accepted that he will die) and that he wanted his descendants to organise his funeral and execute his will accordingly and someone to inherit his title of Bendahara.

Bendahara think that he will change for the better and live life the best he can without any regret.